The day I finally began to achieve the success I had craved for so long in my own business was the day I stopped looking to the external world, and went into my own internal world. By discovering the true definition of “our minds create the reality of our lives through our thoughts and feelings”, it started me on a journey, back to who I really was inside, how I had ended up here and why I hadn’t achieved my long held dreams yet.
You see the reality of my life was not one that I wanted. I wasn’t happy and I certainly wasn’t achieving what I wanted in my business, but working harder and harder, just wasn’t getting me there. However, when I gave up with the external world and began to grow my business from the inside out, not only did it shift faster than I could have ever thought possible but it came with a whole host of other benefits too. Before we carry on with the inner secrets of success, let’s start with where I was a few years ago, because that’s where it all began.
Two months before our second child was born my mother in law died. My husband applied for a job overseas to escape the pain of losing her, then two months after we arrived my own mother died. With a baby, a toddler, little support system, no family and a husband working long hours it wasn’t long before I started to crack…at the time though I didn’t know that, I just thought I needed to get back to working.
I had a consulting business, which I enjoyed, because I love helping companies and individuals thrive. It felt good to be working again and I threw myself into my work but little did I know that now I had found an even bigger hurdle. Trying to juggle small children, home-life and a husband working long hours (without flexible working) didn’t work for us, so after completing three successful consulting projects, whilst my husband and I juggled time off, I decided to go back to the drawing board on my career.
I thought long and hard about where I could provide the most value with my background and experience and eventually decided to bring my ‘big business’ knowledge to the ‘small business and entrepreneurial’ world in the form of a business coach. I had actually worked with SMEs and entrepreneurs before and not only found the fast paced environment challenging and stimulating but also enjoyed working one-on-one with individuals. Helping business owners to find clarity, develop themselves and their mindset and strategically grow their business, allowed me to incorporate my people and organizational development background, innate strategic thinking and commercial know-how into the mix with effective results.
Unfortunately underneath it all I was still struggling....
The grief of losing two mothers at a time when I needed them most, combined with the chaos of trying to bring up children, whilst my husband was hardly ever at home took its toll and I struggled to keep up with it all. I began to feel desperate to achieve my dreams, and pushed myself to work harder and harder, often working until late, so I could fit more in when the kids were asleep. My dad is a workaholic who was extremely successful in his diplomatic career, and has a lot of drive, so drive and determination wasn’t an issue for me, but time was. I threw myself into my business and the resentment towards the rest of my life got me well and truly stuck in negative, until finally, I couldn’t take anymore and knew I had to tackle it.
I actually didn’t know where to start, I just knew I wanted to feel happy again, so I started there. I took some time out to think about when I last felt happy, and my mind was taken back to my past. As much as my husband and I were arguing, the happiest day of my life was still my wedding day so I began there. I started to think about this and other happy memories everyday but it wasn’t the memory I was trying to access, it was the feeling inside me.
The feeling felt good, so I began to build up a ‘happy bank’ of feelings - passion, enthusiasm, excitement, joy, bliss, gratitude; each one feeling different in my body - and every time I felt negative, anxious, stressed or fed up, I focused on feeling this warm, all encompassing feeling inside my chest, long before my brain had had time to think of a positive thought. My brain was so busy with work, children and home-life that it wasn’t thinking straight. So now I wasn’t ‘thinking’ positive thoughts anymore, I was ‘feeling’ positive feelings. And then just like everything in life, the more I practised it, the better at it I got. As I tuned in more and more to my internal environment, focusing on the feelings in my chest and belly, I began to feel different inside. In fact, I began to feel like a completely different person and I felt my life, and my business finally starting to shift.
Little did I know that what I was actually doing was rewiring my body and mind to positive but via my feelings and emotions, rather than my thoughts. Which I now know to be the basis of NLP. I had read about positive thinking, but like most of us, simply wasn’t able to apply it. How long can you keep a positive thought going for? Not long, because we only operate from our ‘thinking’ brain 5% of the time. By coming at positive thinking, via my feelings first, I was able to apply it more successfully, because I could feel it and I ‘felt’ better, not ‘thought’ better.
Now several years on my entire life and business have changed beyond all recognition, simply because I have learned to build on and harness these internal energies. Focusing on my feelings first has improved my intuition and sixth sense, allowed me to harness my true ‘energetic’ self and got me back to ‘happy’. I’m a happier mum, and my husband and I are back to being best friends again. Not because I’m making an external conscious effort but because my thinking has changed internally and I now approach everything from the inside out – checking with my mind, gut, energy and heart first and asking myself ‘mind expanding’ questions before I act. The more you speak to that inner voice or subconscious mind, the more it answers you. And even if I have a bad day, and start to feel stressed, frustrated or overwhelmed again, I know that I can just go inside myself, feel the good, positive feelings, which then radiate out into my thoughts, to get myself back on track. I didn’t know how to get out of my negative thinking using my rational brain, but when I used my feelings and emotions, it worked.
Becoming a positive ‘feeling’ person will change your business and your life, but this isn’t about positive feeling, it’s about business growth, and how positive feeling and thinking combined will accelerate your business and success faster than you ever thought possible. Our brains really do create the reality of our lives, because whatever you are thinking about, you bring into being or attract. Your mind is the one in charge, so taking time to step back and see how your thoughts could be affecting your life, is so vital to everything, but something that us busy business owners often forget to do.
“Changing your energy, Changes your Life”
It’s not just our thoughts it’s also our energies, because our feelings and emotions are energy and when we tap into our positive feelings and internal state, we tap into a massive amount of power, which most of us are not even aware of, let alone using. By focusing too much on the external environment, we are blinding ourselves to our innate and unlimited potential. Which believe me, we all have.
When you grow your business from the inside out, you can feel it all – the energies inside you that you attract back to you, your gut feelings and intuition that act as your internal compass, the absolute clarity and confidence you acquire when you know who you are and what you want, and the extreme creativity that will spark new and innovative ideas for your business growth, are incredible.
This is not to say we ignore the external world of business strategies, it’s simply that now I combine both internal and external systems and strategies together as a way to grow your business. I learnt the hard way that prioritising your happiness and having fun is fundamental, but there is so much more to it than this.
When you come at business from the inside out, you really start to feel a fast shift as you step into the business that you truly want; one that is more fulfilling, lights you up, holds more meaning and financially rewards you for being true to yourself. And when you work on yourself, your mindset and your energy, everything else slots into place.
If you want to discuss how we can work together then book a 15-minute consultation below.